|  Kurt "20_to_life" Eichler
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| Handle: | 20_to_life | | Real Name: | Kurt Eichler | | Country: | Germany | | Gender: | Male | | Birthday: | January 1, 1980 | | Signed Up: | 2002-12-18 2:47 AM EST | | Last Posted: | 2009-11-22 12:05 AM EST |
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| IRC Network: | GameSurge | | IRC Channel: | Not Specified | | AOL Messenger: | Not Specified |
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| Account ID: | 5156 | | Account Rating: | 9,749 | | Account Completion: | 20% | | Comments Posted: | 104 | | Comments Nuked: | 4 | | Threads Started: | 3 | | Thread Replies: | 30 | | Polls Answered: | 0 | | Profile Surveys Answered: | 0 | | Favorite Pages Added: | 0 | | Buddies Added: | 3 | | Times Buddied: | 25 | | Demos Uploaded: | 3 | | Articles Submitted: | 0 | | Messages Sent: | 0 | | Messages Received: | 0 |
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If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I think it would be that time I found that one-dollar bill on the sidewalk. I would change it to a million-dollar bill.
The first time I ever tried to milk a cow at Grandpa's farm, I didn't even know which end of the cow to milk! Then I guess I got even dumber because the next time I couldn't even find the barn. Then the last time, I just went out in the woods and lived with no clothes.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that.
Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
If there was a big gardening convention, and you got up and gave a speech in favor of fast-motion gardening, I bet you would get booed right off the stage. They're just not ready.
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn’t laugh very much. Some friend he is.
If I was being executed by injection, I’d clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I’d say, “Injection? I thought you said ‘inspection.’” They’d probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it.
It’s interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes, until finally they got the nerve to head out onto the plains, where some were probably hit by cars.
Friends along the way (in no order)
Rimmer
Lucipher
Midget
DiamondBack
Herminator
TheMan
Mr. Conservative
Cep21
DoctorDeath
Kidd Kapone
Started CS in 1999 (thx to a computer nerd down the hall in college who gave me half-life). Past clans TexasGamers, c2s cal-m, and Hicks with Sticks cal-i. Now retired from competitive CS. still pitz around in cs wonid : 133696 |
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